bluuuurgh....

i think my cold is finally releasing it's grip, but i wish i could say the same for my nose...i had another bloody nose today, but this time at work. THANK GOD it was during the night shift and there was no one in the workroom so i could bleed to my bloody content. also...my ears feel like crap. like someone has taken a stick and stabbed it repeatedly into my ears. it hurts when i swallow.... Elaine said from now on when i feel the slightest sick, my ears will hurt. dear god, am i aging? god forbid.
I just placed an order for emily's late-late-late birthday present, but i'm glad i held out and kept searching for it because it is totally cute!!! cute!!! cute!!! at least i think it's cute. i also placed a order for three mangas...and i feel totally guilty...but at the same time i'm thinking "hooray manga! i love you tamaki-sama! you're not a total idiot!" it's actually a lot of money to spend!! =*D damn! how do people support vices like this?
but i guess it's okai, i mean what am i gonna do with the money i DON'T spend? i've been hoarding money like crazy, but why? for a house? other people my age aren't. and technically i'm not getting a house... for something..but what? my retirement? my dream wedding? (hah!) What am i saving for? i don't want a car....i don't want trendy clothing....i don't have anywhere i particularly wanna go....umm... i guess i'm saving for a rainy day...should it ever occur... am i just saving money because that's what i'm expected to do? life's become some brainwashed attempt to hoard those beautiful flat bits of green paper? gawd...it makes me sound like a klepto-squirrel... but i guess i'll keep doing it...there's gotta be some reason... a-hah! i'm saving for my future! whatever that may be..
i just got my journal back from my lit class and he said that if i contributed something important to class (i.e. talk) he'll bump my grade from an A- to A....well HAH! i'm not gonna open my mouth! just thinking about it makes me break out in cold sweat...scary....can't do it at all... gyah...
hmm....oh look! it's may 10th! 12:58 am! i've been 21 years old for 58 minutes!! huzzah! geez louise... am i gonna hafta grow up? i can't believe it. i'm 21. 21. it felt like it took forever, but why do i think the next decade or so will fly by? i always think back to that calvin and hobbes strip when calvin wonders why adults always say "slow down" when there's so much in the world to do. so he says when he gets older he'd to do things faster and faster. and that by the time he's 40 he'll be like a hummingbird on crack (or something to that effect ^_^ii gomen)
haha.. sleepy time now. nite nite